


I Will Always Come Back To You

by orphan_account



Category: Bridget Jones's Diary (2001), Bridget Jones's Diary - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 20:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10395030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It was the first Valentine’s since William had been born, and Mark finally finished what he wanted to say before the baby came. (Missing BJB plot, with narrative referring back to BJD).





	

**Author's Note:**

> ***First fanfic ever - the story has rarely been told from Mark Darcy's point of view, so here is a version of events from BJD and BJB from his own perspective. Lines taken from both book and movie.

***  
It was five o'clock and rain was pouring down outside. She looked at her watch for the third time in ten minutes. Bridget can’t wait to get home, to see her baby, and the love of her life. Then something in her purse caught her eye. It was a picture that was taken just after William had been born. Bridget, Mark and William together, with hours of exhaustion on their faces. But still, the joy and ecstasy in their eyes was unmissable. The last 12 months have been a whirlwind. It seemed like only yesterday she was sitting at her desk, wondering what lies ahead at the age of 43. Wonderful things have happened in her life, but everything always fell short of a perfect ending. As she would say, _'Life gives you shallower compensations.'_

As for now, everything seemed just perfect. Watching her baby grow up in the family she always imagined it would be. Once up a time, she had thought about doing it on her own without any men by her side. Practical issues were never a concern. She knew she could have managed on her own, but was nevertheless glad that her life with a baby wasn't as bleak as it might have been. 

She never knew why Mark came back that evening. If it weren't for the coincidence, she would have sat in the rain, in front of her flat, for the whole night. That was a terrifying thought. What if her waters broke then? Her thoughts ran rampant: where could she go? How would she get to the hospital without money or id? She was going to have a baby in the street! Bridget shuddered at the thought.

He was her home, the warmth in her heart. For so many years now, she had gotten used to the idea. No matter how many times she was disappointed, let down, heartbroken, left alone. That’s where her heart always will be. The moment he looks at her with those soulful, brown eyes, all her worries and troubles would melt away. And everything was forgiven.

He came back, even after having written that letter that broke her heart. She had memorised every word, but unable to bring herself to throw it away.

_'I always made myself believe that our history should lead us together, I want to life with you more than I ever wanted anything.'_

Knowing that was enough, she could indulge herself in the fantasy. It was a fantasy all along. 

_'It was never my intention to leave you so alone. Because in truth there must be something that I've never been able to give you.'_

There was no doubt that he loved her beyond anything in this world. He had tried so hard, but she wanted something he wasn't. She knew that was still there, whatever it was, it might never go away. 

Though it had been lingering at the back of her mind for some time, she couldn't bring herself to bring it up. There was never a good time. In the precious moments they had been with their baby, everything seemed so perfect. It would be an unforgivable crime to ruin that. After all, Mark had done such a lot to change his work schedule to fit in with all her needs. Shortening the time he had to be the office unless absolutely necessary, not taking as many cases even though the prospect had caused him so much grief. He had promised her that his priorities were different now. There wasn't any doubt, her and the baby, they are the things matter most to him now. 

Somewhere inside, she couldn't quite believe it. As if some day it was all a dream and she would be all alone again. It had something to do the way he got married to someone else so soon after they had broken up, or the way he was going to America with Natasha soon after declaring his feeling for her. It was an explicit way of telling the world, he was ready to move on when she wasn't. They were at a completely different place now. Even though he had come back from America, and he had come back to her after everything with Camilla. Unfortunately, insecurities have a habit of dying hard.

***

Even with all the rain, she had gotten home before he did. She had guessed it might be harder than usual to get a cab at this hour with all the horrendous traffic. After all, there was never any parking space outside her flat. The room was much quieter than she expected. She had almost forgotten William had been left with her parents. Oh, the thought of her parents with a baby! It might be something she will come to regret. Mark couldn't help himself grinning at the prospect when she brought it up. No doubt she will never hear the end to that story. 

It was her idea of a Valentine’s without William. Just the two of them, catching up on all the Valentines they missed during those years apart. Her parents were more than enthusiastic about the idea. _'Have some alone time!'_ They said. 'You might not have the chance to for another 18 years!'

She used to be a woman who wanted cards, chocolates and roses for Valentine’s, but he was never a man comfortable with articulating emotional declarations or romantic lines. She couldn't help herself chuckle at that. The awkward look on his face when he tries to tell her how much he loves her, it was like one of her attempts at public speaking. It was adorable, but only to someone as intimate as she is to him. All the things that had annoyed her when they first got together, was no longer a nuisance, but rather perfect imperfections she had come to love. 

There was a click of keys at the door. No matter how many times he did this, it always brings a smile to her face, and her heart leapt to her throat. The beads of rain in his hair, the way his tie was loosened as soon as he was out of the office. There was something about Mark owning a key to her flat and coming back to it after work that made it feel like a home. It was a home for two. She had the feeling all those years ago when they first moved it together, but soon things took a turn for the worst. Reality had fallen short of expectations. She had wanted to see him day in and day out. She had wanted to share every precious detail of her life with him. But he was never there. Sometimes he was away for a fortnight at a time. Even when he was home, for weeks on end she would never see him before ten. She had wanted to be happy with whatever their life together had to offer. Unfortunately, it wasn't her, and it wasn't meant to be. She knew all those things that had driven them apart never disappeared. They have diminished for sure, and she could only hope those scars which had caused so much pain for both of them would heal with time.

***

Mark had struggled getting a cab to her flat, so he somehow ran with the only umbrella he had in his office. It was miracle how he managed to keep as dry as he did. Though his hair was wet, his suit remained largely dry. 

This was a life he had always wanted. Being with the woman he loves, being what she wants, and what she needs. Even more amazingly, they had a delightful little addition to their family. William seemed to encapsulate everything wonderful about her, and everything he thought was at least admirable about him. The cheeky grin, the way he rolls his eyes, the way he makes an inexplicable mess when he was left alone for the briefest second, the way he was intelligent beyond words for communicating with people. _It’s a good sign that William didn’t take after me for being utterly socially incompetent._ He thought.  
The moment he stepped inside the doors, he noticed something different about her. She looked happier than usual. Though it didn't help that usual had been a chronic lack of sleep. She was sitting on the sofa looking out of the window. The moment she saw him, those blue eyes were glistening with a gorgeous smile. He couldn't imagine a better place to come home to.

Taking his suit and tie off, unbuttoning the top buttons on his shirt, his breath was filled with the warmth of the living room. 

'Happy Valentine's.' He whispered.

She felt his hands on her waist, caressing it, feeling their way up her sides, across her stomach. Still careful not to touch where the stitches were, he carefully held her close, his head nuzzling into her hair.

'Happy Valentine's to you.' 

'What are you thinking about?' Mark pulled her close from the back to place a kiss on her temple. 

She looked deep in thought. 

'Nothing in particular.'

'Bridget, you know you are terribly liar. Tell me.'

'Maybe later.'

Clearly wanting to put off the conversation, she looked a little nervous, as if she was hiding something. Exasperated, he just couldn't imagine what it might be.

Whatever it was, Mark’s frown faded as soon as her eyes did their trick on him. He couldn't help but being completely absorbed by them. The way she looks at him, with those eyes containing a million emotions and one, all at the same time. They reminded him of that look she gave him at his parent’s Ruby Wedding, after finding out that he was planning to go off to America. They were desperately telling him not to go, but somehow, he always put himself in situations impossible to get out of. He was always committed somehow, to maintaining that façade of cold and unemotional exterior. In that moment, he wasn't able to tell her just how much he liked her and wanting to stay with her. But hearts never lie, he knew he would come back. He loved her more than he could say. 

How differently things could have turned out if he didn't? It was an impulse of the moment when he stepped on the plane back from New York. No matter what happens now, he was going to tell her how he feels. He was not going to give up without a fight.

'I was wondering..' 'Hmm?'

He led her into their bedroom, took her into his arms, holding her, stroking the small of her back, ghosting his kisses on her eyelids, cheeks, neck.

'Right before the baby came,' 'Yes?'

Distracted by her question, he looked at her thoughtfully.

'What was the end of that sentence? Do you remember?'

Recalling the conversation from what seems like a century ago, of course he remembers. He’ll never forget the turmoil of emotions that brought him back to her, asking so ineloquently for her to take him back. All it took was a reindeer jumper from the bottom of his closet. Even after all those years, he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. He clung onto it like a piece of his heart, locked away deep in his desk drawers with their engagement ring. He was never particularly good at confronting his emotions. All the efforts he made trying to keep himself away from her melted at an instant. He knew those memories would never fade, and he would never be happy with anyone other than her.

Mark closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

'Mark?'

'What I was trying to articulate was that..'

He had wanted to say it for some time, but there was never a good time.

'Bridget, as much as I find.. emotional declarations difficult, the truth is.. I love you so much more than I could ever say.'

'Oh..'

He was extremely anxious, caressing her check with his thumb, trying to detect a hint of smile in her expression. 

'You are my world Bridget. No matter where I go, I will always come back to you in the end. I had been such a fool for not realising that. I could never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did. So I will do everything in my power to make it up to you, if you would be so kind as to give me another opportunity to be in your life again.'

His eyes were sincere with emotions.

'Oh, Mark.'

She thought she had made her intentions clear by giving him a key to her flat, but clearly he just saw it as a practical need. After all, they hadn't really talked about things after William had been born. 

Still, she wasn't expecting such a sudden and passionate declaration of affection. He clearly had something important in mind when he came to her flat, and William’s arrival evidently got in the way of that. Now that William is here, maybe they have a chance to finish that conversation.

'You always have been, don’t you know that?'

'Bridget, I was under the impression that you didn't want me any more after I had let you down.'

It was true, and he had never been able to overcome the consequences of it. The letter she left him on the morning of the christening had been undeniable evidence of that. 

Even when she told him about her pregnancy, as ecstatic as he was, he wasn't ready to presume that they would naturally come together. Nothing had evidently changed, and even more was at risk now. If their relationship didn't work out, he wouldn't be able to bear the consequences. He couldn't do that to their child. And after he found out about Jack, his thoughts on the matter became even more muddled. His emotions were tangled up with his already fragile ego, and Jack’s charming ways didn't help matters at all. He wasn't like Daniel Cleaver, he was outwardly and sincerely caring, loving, charming, perhaps everything he is not. Mark struggled intensely with the idea. He couldn't bear the thought that someday, someone will make her happy the way he couldn't. As days went on, it was evident that Jack had more time to give to accompany her through her pregnancy needs when he was only reachable by cell phone. Still, when Jack unwisely pointed it out, his pride and ego was emphatically hurt. It wasn't to do with dolphin condoms, it was to do with what Jack’s message implied. There was no place for him in her life any more. If he wasn't the father of her child, he would have no reason to be around, and that was a devastating thought.

'The letter you left.. it broke my heart…'

'I know, I know my love, it was absurdly foolish. I should have never said what I said. I'm so incredibly sorry.'

'You know I’ll never take your money..'

'I know.. I was trying to make amends for my absence.. but it was the wrong way to do it. I sincerely apologise. But it was never meant to offend.'

He did what always had done when he was hurt. He retracted to his shell, drowned himself in his work, hoping that the pain would diminish with time. But with any old wounds, it will never heal until properly treated, and with the right medication.

He thought a genetic bond was the strongest connection between members of a family, but was soon to be proven wrong.

He had returned from a trip to Bogotá, with his then wife packing the last of her belongings in his house at Holland Park. There was nothing left to do apart from taking her to the airport. Their relationship had always been a courteous one. He was always a gentleman on all accounts. Unfortunately, there was nothing more than mannerly relations between them. There were no arguments, but no passion either. They tread along a line which barely defined them as husband and wife in public eyes. The lack of intimacy was something neither of them missed. Or at least, it was never something they expected from each other. Camilla was a well-educated, elegant Dutch woman. Mark had met her just after her 8 year long relationship had ended. It was something they both identified with, the loneliness, the soaring fire which destroyed everything in one’s heart. They sought comfort in one another, and for a while, it worked. But they always knew, the empathy driven relationship was never going to become a romantic one. Once the realisation hit, there was nothing else to do but to part ways. Taking her back to the Hague will be the last of it. The final confirmation for the divorce will come through soon, and that will be the end of their marriage. 

He had always wanted to be a father, but circumstances never permitted it. It was at the end of his marriage with Camilla, when he realised the reason why they hadn't wanted children together. In his mind, he never wanted to be a father without her. If he was going to raise a child with anyone, it was with her. He couldn't think of anyone else who could love a child the way she would. It was Bridget all along. 

'I knew I'd always come back. I never wanted to father a child without you Bridget.'

'It wasn't until when I took Camilla to the airport…'

'What has that got to do with it?' She looked confused.

'Well.' He paused.

'I saw Tom and his boyfriend Eduardo at the airport, and their son.'

'Oh?'

'It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen, not as amazing as William of course.'

'I had always thought blood relations was what bonded parents with their children, but at that moment, I realised that it wasn't at all. I had always wanted to be with you, but I didn't know how to deal with the possibility of Jack being the father of our child.'

Our child. 

The way he said it with so much conviction leaves no room for doubt. He had always wanted her child, he just wasn't sure how to cope with the chaotic situation.

'When I saw the way they love their child like the most wonderful thing in the world, the way the boy smiles at them with complete and utter trust, the answer was obvious. Even with all the madness of travelling with a child, their delightful expression was undeniable. I had been blind, blinded by my own ego and pride. A family is when people shared unconditional love for one another. Perhaps genetics as they say, has nothing got to do with it whatsoever.'

Bridget looked as if she was about to cry.

Her insecurities had disappeared completely. She never felt safer in this relationship. She knew that he meant what he said. It was at the hospital when she gave birth 3 weeks before William was due. Both Mark and Jack were with her. Looking retrospectively, it was obvious why Mark's words somewhat relieved her pain at the time and Jack’s way of helping her didn't work at all.

'I meant what I said Bridget. I will always love you, the way you were, the way you are, the way you always will be. With William, we’ll be the happiest family together.'

'Mark..'

She was speechless. All she wanted to do was to melt into his arms and kiss him senseless, and that was just what she did.

***

'So what do you want to do tonight?' She asked teasingly.

'Oh I think you know what I want…' He answered with an equally mischievous tone. With one hand in her hair, he gently started stroking the back of her neck, and smothered her with little kisses. 

'You know I'm still out of bounds for another 3 weeks..' She tried to resist, but her breath was getting heavier by the second.

His expression fell for a second, but unwilling to be distracted from the obvious heat between them.

'Hmm.. maybe we could try other things.. I know the limits of what I can do.'

'Mark! You know it will only get out of hand.'

She tried to sound disapproving, but couldn't resist a smirk on her face.

He leaned close, pulling her against his chest.

'At least let me do this..' Mark’s lip reached hers, kissing her deeply. His left hand on the small of her back, and the right tugging underneath her jumper, from her waist, down her backside, caressing it the way she had always liked it to be done. 

'Oh…'

Releasing her from their kiss, his lips moved with just enough pressure, to her jawline, her neck, her shoulders.

'Are you not hungry?' She was trying to distract herself from enjoying it too much.

'Hmm.. A little, but I just want to keep doing this..' Clearly he was in no hurry either.

'I know love, maybe just a quick meal before we…'

Raising his head, Mark gave a quiet sigh.

'What would you like?' He still had his hand on her waist, unwilling to let her go. Though he knew Bridget won’t feel up to anything if he were to let her go hungry.

***

After the meal and a quick dessert, they were both readily exhausted. Having a baby around is something they hadn't gotten used to yet. The lack of sleep had taken its toll. After helping her getting out of the shower, he laid with her in her cosy bed, cradling her against his shoulders. They dressed in their pyjamas. It was a habit they didn't like, but took up nonetheless. It offered a more convenient state of appearance to approach their child late in the night. Besides, the less temptation they had the better. His repressed desires had been building up, but he was sensible enough not to let his physical needs to cause her any discomfort. 

'Bridget?' Sleepy as he was, he couldn't help but to place his affectionate gaze on every detail of her face.

'Hmm..?' She was just about to drift off.

'I love you, do you know that?'

'You may have mentioned it once or twice.' She replied, offering him a sleepy grin.

'But I don’t think love gives enough depth to the emotions I feel for you.'

'Does it not?' She turned her head to look up at his face. 

'Something like profound adoration maybe.'

It wasn't to do with what precise words he used. It wasn't like this ten years ago. He had evidently softened with age. Though she loved him just as much back then, the way he expressed his love, or profound adoration as he likes to put it, made him infinitely more amiable as a partner these days. Perhaps it had to do with being a father. She thought about Shaz's words, she could really herself growing old with him like this.

'I was asking myself the other day, if William hadn't come along, would I still… have the courage to come to you and ask you the same question.'

She was completely awake now. 

'And..?'

'I concluded it was only a matter of time, even when we never got in touch after the christening.'

'The moment I said yes to Giles for stepping in as the godfather, I knew what I was signing up for. It was the opportunity I had been waiting for, to see you again. Our unadulterated passion that evening, I had missed it so much. In fact, if you hadn't left that night, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go.'

'Bridget, what do you think about.. making things more formal?'

'What do you mean?' She knew what he meant; she just wanted him to say those words again.

'I mean.. will you marry me?' 

She wasn't expecting this so soon at all. She knew what he was going to say, but it still caught her by surprise. She still had questions about what happened with him and Camilla, but she did trust him. Maybe he will confide with her when he feels ready, and maybe she doesn't really need to know all the details. 

'Bridget?'

'I wasn't expecting…' She whispered.

Mark looked a little exasperated. To be honest, it wasn't the best place or time to bring it up. He knew that she would want a more romantic setting for a marriage proposal, but things are less than their proper formality at the moment.

'I mean.. yes of course.' She choked out. 

'I just don’t know if I’ll be up for a wedding yet.'

Sighing in relief, he placed a loving kiss on her forehead.

'Oh, thank God. Don’t worry my love, I just meant as a plan for the near future. Of course we want you to be better before we can arrange things. I know you’ll want to look magnificent. Not that you aren't now.'

'You are just saying that to make me feel better aren't you?' She rolled her eyes. She is hardly at her most attractive.

'Whenever you're ready. Maybe when William is a little older and can witness it. I want you have the best day.'

'Hmm.. let me think about it then.' She said with a cheeky smile.

***

She placed her hands under his shirt, ran her hands across his body and down to his stomach and began to stroke it. It was always his most sensitive spot. Bridget decided now was the time to tease him. 

She moved her right knee across his stomach, pressing her inner thigh against it, gently putting pressure on it, and slowly moving down to his crotch.

'Bridget, what are you doing?'

She didn't reply, but her mischievous blue eyes were telling him everything. 

'Bridget.' There was a hint of warning in his voice.

'Bridget, don’t tempt me like this. You know I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to…ohh.' He breathed. 

She always liked how her seductive powers were potent on him. After all, his physical reactions couldn't lie, and she relished it. Her thighs continually moved back and forth, rubbing it against his increasingly firm bulge.

'What are you trying to do to me, Bridget?' He queried, his breaths got quicker by the second.

It wasn't a question, because the answer was obvious.

She was tempting him on purpose, and he had to repress whatever urges he was having.

'Just trying to relieve you some stress coping with your physical needs…' She smiled playfully.

'Ahh.. Bridget, you’re hardly helping…'

'Maybe this will help.'

She worked her way down with her hands, gently massaging her way down to his most sensitive spot, finally giving him the satisfaction he needed.

'Please, Bridget… I can’t..' 

He let out a repressed groan. Mark was more pleased than he let on. A small part of him will never admit he had let himself be seduced like that.

'Bridget, that was…'

'Yes?'

'Oh, Bridget.' He began to catch up on his breath, recovering from the high.

'Maybe we should be more exploratory in our methods..' She mused.

She smiled at him enticingly, until he got up and shoved her shoulders against the pillow, kissing her fervently. She wiggled underneath him, arching up, which only made him press harder. His hands trailed up her waist to her chest. His fingers grazed over her breast. She made a small giggle in return.

'Oh.. Mr. Darcy..'

'Yes?'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

***

This might just be the best Valentine’s Day ever.


End file.
